Lady Johanna's Top Ten Lists

Top Ten Things We'll Never See on Disney's Gargoyles

Full frontal nudity. What didja think this was, Ranma 1/2?
Hudson utter a sentence without the word "lad" or any variation thereof in it *someplace*.
Broadway on Jenny Craig.
Owen having a good, old fashioned BELLY LAUGH!
Elisa on a date. The howl of fury from alt.fan.furry would be heard 'round the world....
Brooklyn and Lex in nun costumes hiding out from the mob (presents a great mental picture tho, don't it?).
David Xanatos - docile, henpecked husband.
Goliath rolling around on the floor of the library laughing, reading The Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
Xanatos and Fox busted for unauthorized landing of a helicopter in a residendial zone.
and the number one thing We'll Never See on Disney's Gargoyles:
Cute, cuddly talking forest animals that wear tops but no pants.

Elisa explaining to her neighbourhood grocer why she and her cat need 15 lbs of red meat a night.
Lexington addicted to IRC.
A young ambitious reporter determined to prove the gargoyles exist. Cliche'? What cliche'? Oh *that* cliche'....
An episode that only features Brooklyn, Owen, and the Magus. Let's make Jeff Bennet *earn* that paycheque!
Elisa on a date... with Goliath.
Demona on a shopping spree. The woman needs to realise the whole Sheena outfit just doesn *not* go over that well, especially in January. Brrr!
Elisa's family reacting to the fact that Derek up and disappeared, and won't even come home for Sunday dinner.
Fox in frumpy maternity wear. (yeah, yeah, I know, we're probably in for black leather and red silk maternity wear....)
Elisa temporarily assignined to the day shift, and reacting adversely to normalacy.
and the number one thing I'd like to see on Disney's Gargoyles:
Xanatos changing dirty diapers.

Hang gliding.
Daily sparring sessions with her husband.
Meglomaniacal schemes for world domination. (can't you just see it? "What are we going to do tonight, David?" "Same thing we do every night, my dear. Try and take over the world.")
Patricide
Fighting any and all ninjas, evil or otherwise.
Piloting the chopper (meaning that Xanatos will have to find yet *another* pilot, unless Owen can fly the thing and we've just never noticed.)
Lycanthropy
Those black leather pants
Turning to stone unexpectantly and plumetting 40 stories to street level.
and the number one activity Fox Xanatos will have to give up now that she's got a bun in her oven...
Time travel (the mere thought of the Xanatos baby being born outside of the most expensive private hospital in New York state boggles my mind, and I wouldn't want to see Fox give birth with out drugs, as something tells me David would *not* survive)

Yeah, Mom, bad hair day. I fell off a building. Twice.
Sorry I couldn't come from brunch, Mom, I had to babysit a stone gargoyle because we were being tracked by a crack commando team bent on industrial espionage.
Actually, Mom, I was shot by a green winged gargoyle who'd seen too many westerns.
Mom, can I borrow $400? I bought a friend a television. And a laptop, but that's on an installment plan. I can make that if I sell my car.
Mom, can you call back later? Derek's scratching at the window, I have to let him in before he loses the updraft.
Sorry Mom, I couldn't help hand out Hallowe'en candy because I was tracking a werewolf through Greenwich Village.
Mom, the real reason your bridge partner disappeared is because she turned to stone one night, and was smashed to rubble by a deranged, psychopathic thousand year old gargoyle.
Gee Mom, I'd love to see MacBeth. But, see, been there, done that...
Well, my first gun was crushed by a good gargoyle, my backup by an evil gargoyle, and my new gun was crushed by a multimillionaire in a metal gargoyle exo-skeleton....
and the number one truth Eliza Maza can't tell her Mother...
Well, Mom, I'm seeing a great guy. He's seven feet tall, lavender, and can throw a car.

Lady Johanna Constantine