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The Gargoyles Fan Website

Jeffrey's Top Ten Lists

Top Ten Changes for Owen Burnett Now That Fox is "Mrs. Xanatos":

  1. Panty hose draped over the castle parapets to dry.
  2. Toilet seat must be kept in "down" position...or else...
  3. His-and-Her Steel Clan Robots.
  4. Red hairs all over the place.
  5. A four-pack of toilet paper just won't last a month now.
  6. Having to buy..."those things"...once a month at the store. (pre-"Outfoxed")
  7. 2 AM corporate takeover strategy meetings replaced by searching for an open grocery store for dill pickles, horseradish and pistachio ice cream. (post-"Outfoxed")
  8. Three-way post-dinner belching competition.
  9. Xanatos now has a different kind of "afternoon workout".
    and the number one change for Owen Burnett now that Fox is "Mrs. Xanatos":
  10. No more walking around in T-shirt and Boxer shorts on Sunday.

Top Ten uses for a catatonic Coldstone

  1. Combination book-end, candle-holder, or flower arrangement holder.
  2. Beggar on Times Square: "I HAVE MPD AND A COMPUTER VIRUS--PLEASE HELP".
  3. Ugliest damn weathervane you ever saw: "Hmmm. Which way is the wind blowing, Hudson?" "Let me check Coldstone...ah. East."
  4. Hat and Coat Rack for Elisa when she visits.
  5. Chair warmer for Hudson during the day.
  6. Broadway's perfect dinner companion ("You sure you don't want that? Well, okay, if you insist...").
  7. The ultimate cable satellite dish.
  8. Portable electrical outlet for Lexington.
  9. Chew toy for Bronx.
    and the number one use for a catatonic Coldstone:
  10. Future source of income for Michael Dorn!!!!

Top Ten rejected action figure ideas

  1. "Three Faces of Coldstone"
  2. Couch Potato Hudson (with "Channel-Surfing Action!")
  3. Wonderbra Demona
  4. Mommy-to-be Fox
  5. Magic Forearm Owen ("Owen dips his arm in the Magic Bath...and it turns to STONE!")
  6. PMS Elisa
  7. Anatomically-Accurate Goliath
  8. Body-Piercin' Brooklyn
  9. Growing Up Angela
    and the number one rejected action figure idea:
  10. Scratch-N-Sniff Bronx!

Top Ten changes for Gargoyles when it moves to Saturdays:

  1. Hudson now referred to as "Papa Gargoyle"
  2. The Pack is remodeled along the lines of "Inspector Gadget"
  3. Loincloths replaced by loose-fitting 501 jeans
  4. Elisa's gun replaced with a magical power sword that shoots powerful beams but doesn't hurt anyone
  5. "Baby Xanatos" completely vanishes (because children are evidence of SEX!)
  6. Broadway, Brooklyn and Lexington are sent to a "peace conference" and are replaced by three politically correct gargoyles.
  7. Angela is totally unrelated to ANYONE (see #6)
  8. Keith David is replaced by Dave Coulier (Real Ghostbuster joke)
  9. Dark, brooding theme replaced by "The Barney Theme"
    and the number one change for Gargoyles when it moves to Saturday AM:
  10. Bronx is "fixed"

Jeffrey Morris