Eagle's Top Ten List

The Top Ten Signs Your Girlfriend May be an Owenite Nun

10. Visit the hotel frequently to speak with the other butlers.
9. She tapes up her left arm so and paints it to look like stone.
8. She tells you one night on a date, "I'll love you if you can give me a soul transferance.!
7. She has undyingly jealous of Elisa.
6. She's planning a trip to Manhattan.
5. She's reading books on fey marriages.
4. Reads Shakespeare... constantly... especially "A Midsummer Night's Dream".
3. Never smiles.
2. Addresses you as "Sir".
   and the number one sign your girlfriend may be an Owenite Nun:
1. She speaks in iambic pentameter.

If you or someone you love if suffering from this condition, please seek professional help as soon as possible. If you don't get help at Charter, please get help, somewhere.

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The Top Twelve Things Captain Chavez is Waiting to Ask Detective Maza:

12. "How did your apartment window get smashed?"
11. "Why havn't you been sleeping much lately?"
10. "Why have you been spending three hundred a month on 'groceries'"
9. "Whatever happened to Derek, anyway?"
8. "Why are you spending so much time at the Eyrie Building?"
7. "How did we get gargoyles on this building?"
6. "Who fixed the big clock?"
5. "The first two guns were smashed by monsters?"
4. "The third gun was smashed by a billionaire?!"
3. "The last gun was melted down to make a fey killing bell?!!!!!!!"
2. "Who really did shoot you?" and "Whatever happened to the steak on your stove?"
   and the number one thing she needs to ask:
1. "Who are you dating, anyway?"

Eagle of Arabia