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Benjamin's Top Top Ten Lists

Top Ten Things I'd Like to see in Future Episodes of Gargoyles:

  1. Elisa sees Goliath in the buff. "Philistine giant..." :-)
  2. Transition to modern day Manhatten gag: Hudson shaves his beard, using Elisa's LEG RAZOR!
  3. Broadway reads the cover of a magazine in Elisa's apartment: "P-L-A-Y.. Play.. G-I.."
  4. Xanatos wears a "Marvel sucks my ****" T-shirt.^-^
  5. MacBeth calls Shakespeare "A HACK."
  6. 2 words: Demona. Ecchi. ^_^
  7. Puck becomes a panty-thief!
  8. Brooklyn finally finds love... at one of New Yorks "underground" clubs!
  9. Lexington gets cast in the third Gremlins movie.
    and the number one thing I'd like to see in future episodes of Gargoyles:
  10. We discover Owen & Vogel are actually.. Beavis & Butthead in disguise!

Top Ten books we'll never see Goliath reading:

  1. Stephen King's The Stand (it's take until the 4th season for him to finish!)
  2. Mark Twain's The Adventures of Hucklberry Finn (Doncha know they banned that one!)
  3. Stan Lee's How to Draw Comics the Marvel Method
  4. John Carpenter's Cabal ^_^
  5. Jean M. Auel's The Valley of Wild Horses ^_^
  6. Jean M. Auel's The Mammoth People ^_^
  7. James Clavel's Gaijin ^_^
  8. Tom Clancy's The Sum of All Fears
  9. Rush Limbaugh's The Way Things Ought To Be
    and the number one book we'll never see Goliath reading:
  10. The Joy Of Sex!!

Top Ten Changes to Fox's life now that she's Mrs. Xanatos:

  1. She now has someone to call "Pookie".
  2. Since David has a beard, she can go as Mrs. Claus at XMas.
  3. She'll finally figure out just how Scrooge McDuck can swim in gold coins.
  4. She'll now have to fight Hyena. "He is NOT a ROBOT, you sick little Meecha-file!"
  5. She'll have to put David on her Blockbuster membership.
  6. David is no longer a "Friend" to MCI.
  7. She has someone with a warm hands for the winter months.
  8. She'll have to dig out her old Busy Town books. (post Outfoxed)
  9. She'll have to start thinking of baby names.
    ...and the #1 Change to Fox's life now that she's Mrs. Xanatos:
  10. She can now spit into her hand and straighten ANYBODY's hair, no questions asked.

Top Ten Lines I'm Waiting to Hear on Disney's Gargoyles

  1. Talon: What are we, anyways? Cabbats? No, that's Ryo-ohkii.
  2. Fox, on seeing Demona's day form: Have you though of becoming an American Gladiator?
  3. Dr. Sevarious & Xanatos, together: What do you want from us, we're evil?!
  4. Dr. Sevarious, on his latest evil deed: I've been making a man, with blonde hair and a tan...
  5. Fox Xanatos: David, I think my breasts are getting larger, feel!
  6. Brooklyn: The Hunchback of Notre Dame? Sounds *cheery* to me!
  7. Thailog: Gee, dad, can you get any cheezier than that?
  8. Broadway: If cats were meant to fly they'd have...uh.. forget it.
  9. By any villain chara.: Now, everybody; SING!
    and the number one Line I'm Waiting to Hear on Disney's Gargoyles
  10. Matt: has anyone seen Eliza recently?

Top Ten Things Baby X Will Have to Look Forward To:

  1. Forget the Ultrasound, Nanotechnology probe!
  2. The Golaith and Demona as the world's WACKIEST Godparents!
  3. The licenced Disney's Gargoyle mobile over his crib.
  4. The world's first All Terrain, Cybernetic High Chair. (or ATC HiC for short:>)
  5. Baby Walker looks like AT-AT Walker.
  6. Jet-propelled Underoos. ("I'm not Superman, I'm DAD!")
  7. Genetic engineering results in the world's largest BIG RED DOG! (obscure one, dig out your kids books)
  8. The mindless violence every Saturday Morning is REAL!
  9. Parent's day at public school. ("This is my father. He's taking over the world!")
    and the number one thing...
  10. Noone can criticize his choice in women. ("Hell Dad, you married a woman with a tattoo on her eye. You're in no position to criticize (Name)'s (Body part^_^) ring!")

Top Ten Things Most Likely to Happen if the Cast of Gargoyles Ever Hits a Karaoke Bar:

  1. David and Fox sing a love song sooo sappy everyone wants to kill them. Even more than before!
  2. Sevarius sings "Planet, Shmanet, Janet"; during which, Halcyon Reynard exclaims, "My God, I can't move my wheels!".
  3. Fang will sing the theme to "Cats"... and get shot at. By Maggie.
  4. Demona and MacBeth do the famous 'Mack the Knife' brawl. ("WHEN THE MOON *ough*" "HITS THE *Knock it off*" "MACK THE *uff! Get off the Damn Stage!!")
  5. Matt Bluestone shows his true colors as he sings Dennis Leary's "I'm an @$$HOLE!".
  6. Broadway, Brooklyn and Lexington rap "Christman in Hollis". (to illo: "IIIIIT'S Christmans time in Hollis Queens, momma cookin' chicken n' collared greens-")
  7. Eliza raps "Whatta Man". (-got a body like Arnold with a Denzel face-)
  8. Angela gets royally tanked for the first time in her life... sings "The Age of Aquarius"...naked. ("That's YOUR daughter, Demona...")
  9. Owen sings "Solid as a Rock". (Bad joke! Naughty joke! That joke goes to bed with no supper!)
  10. GOLAITH sings *anything* by BARRY WHITE; Eliza, Angela, Fox AND Demona all acting VERY strangely afterwards.

Top Ten Words only Golaith and Barry White Can Make Sound Sexy:

  1. "Jalepeno."
  2. "Frijoles."
  3. "Good golly Miss Molly."
  4. "Demona."
  5. "Big @$$ Ham."
  6. "Dumb and Dumber."
  7. "Vatican."
  8. "Denton, Home of Happiness."
  9. "Insane Clown Posse."
    And the number one word that will only sound Sexy when spoken by Goliath or Barry White...
  10. "Dick Luger."

Top Ten Changes in Demona's Life if Goliath had Taken Thailog up on his Offer: (Watch it, These are Pretty Obscure.)

  1. Goliath wearing a white silk tuxedo, Thailog wearing black. (Think about what Mike Reaves has worked on. ;))
  2. Can't help but nickname them "Scorpion" and "Sub-Zero". (Think: Boon & Tobias.)
  3. Can't figure out for the life of her which one she likes more. The origional Goliath from Scotland, or the Golaith of the 90's. However, she still doesn't Roger Moore's Goliath. (Sing: Dada, dadada-da, dada, dadada-da.)
  4. Bass in STEREO!! ^_^
  5. Now living a Double Mint commercial. ^_^
  6. Always has one man to bitch at while another's getting her a Hershey Bar, a Dr. Pepper, and some Pamprin.
  7. Now has two models for her daytime art class. ("It's almost dawn... now, hold those positions!")
  8. Simultaneous Foot and Back rubs! (Do I know WOMEN?)
  9. Can really screw up Angela by saying, "Your father said yes, did he? Well, go ask your father's clone and see what he has to to say about your getting a (Body part) ring."
    And the number one change to Demona's life now that she has two "Big G's"...
  10. Finally has Penthouse Letter to end all Penthouse Letters! (What do you want from me? I'm evil!)

Top Ten Most Likely Occurences when the Gargoyles Return to Nihon*:

  1. Ancient hero re-incarnated: Musashi Miyamoto!! (see "The Ulster Hound.")
  2. G.E.N.O.M. Vs Xanatos Enterprises**: The Grudge Match For World Domination!
  3. Eliza must confront Hopposai!
  4. A-ko and B-ko furiously battle over Matt Bluestone, but he only has eyes for C-ko in spite of the fact that Mr. Daitokuji arranged for him to marry A,B&C-Ko's teacher, Miss Ayumi.
  5. Coyote (like he's dead!) wasted by school girl and 10-foot-tall demon king.
  6. Jackal & Hyena Vs. Kei & Yuri... kiss Tokyo 'baibai'.
  7. Brooklyn, Broadway and Lexington meet Urd, Belldandy and Skuld.
  8. All three Wierd Sisters join in the fight over Tenchi Masake.
  9. Thailog defeated by the Sailor Scouts!
    and the number one most likely occurence:
  10. Goliath and Demona check into a "Rabu Hoteru." (^_^ to those who know Katakana!)

* Japan, you dolt!
** Xanatos ENTERPRISEs!!!

Top Ten Reasons why Coldstone is Luckier than he Thinks...

  1. Unbelievably closer to his wife.
  2. A schitzophrenic never dines alone.
  3. Can drink and still be the designated driver, er, flyer.
  4. Can confuse people by saying, "I didn't do it, he did." and then pointing to himself.
  5. Can talk to himself and not give a DAMN what anybody thinks.
  6. Can have a great time AND be totally offended when watching Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls.
  7. Can now say "I'm eating for three.".
  8. Can sing Peter, Paul and Mary songs in his head with an actual trio.
  9. Can reenact his favourite scenes from "Herman's Head".
    And the number 1 reason why Coldstone is luckier than he thinks...
  10. Masturbation is now group sex! (Bad joke! Naughty joke! Justwaittillyourfathergetshome, young joke!)

Benjamin A Rodriguez